Aashirbaad (Engagement)

The engagement ceremony among Bengalis is referred to as Aashirbaad when the marriage alliance is confirmed by exchanging gifts and sweets. The bride and the groom touch the feet of the elders to seek their blessings
(aashirvaad) for the alliance. Pre Marriage Rituals

Pre-Wedding Rituals

Briddhashraddha: In the morning of the marriage, any male relative, preferably paternal uncle of both the bride and the groom have to perform certain rituals to please the souls of the forefathers in the presence of a purtohit. Alpana is made with rice paste and a mangal ghot (a copper pitcher) with an amrapalli (mango stem with five leaves) perched on it, is
placed on it. The ones who perform the ritual along with the bride and the groom are put on liquid diet or fast until the conclusion of the entire marriage ritual.

Dodhi Mangal: The bride and the groom are offered fish and rice followed by curd and chiruya (powdered rice) in their respective houses, as they are not supposed to eat after this until the conclusion of the entire matrimonial rituals.

Adhibas Tattva: An array of gifts that include a sari for the groom’s mother, sweets, dhaan (rice husk), paan (beetle leaf), mishti doi (sweet curd), durba (grass stalk) and fish are arranged on a silver or brass plate and sent from the brides house. The gifts and the bearers are welcomed warmly with sherbet and sweets.

Gaye Halud Tattva: This is the gift package to the bride from the groom’s house. The turmeric used by the groom is sent to be mixed with the turmeric meant to be applied by the bride, along with six sarees and accompanying accessories, sweets, paan, dhan, durba, mishti doi and fish. The piris (low wooden stool) for the marriage ceremony is also brought to the bride’s house. Again the gifts and the bearers are welcomed warmly with sherbet and sweets.

Gaye Halud: Turmeric paste is applied to the groom and the bride at their respective homes and the turmeric is sent to the bride's house. The same turmeric used by the groom is mixed with the turmeric meant to be applied by the bride.

Bar Jatra: A little boy, preferably a relative, would be the 'nit bar' (little groom) to outwit the evil eyes and accompany the groom along with a purohit and the bar yatris to the bride’s house. Both the bride and the groom’s mothers do not witness the wedding, as it is believed to protect them from ‘evil eye’.

Abhinandan: The groom is welcomed at the bride’s house with an aarti. The baran dala (a silver or copper pate) containing a diya (earthen lamp), sandalwood paste, rice grains, sweets, flowers and a Sri (star) sign is held by an elder female relative of the bride's. Water is sprinkled all along as the groom walks into the house. He is then seated in a chair meant especially for him and offered sweets and sherbet.

The Wedding Day

The day of the wedding begins early for the bride with the Haldi Uptan. In this ritual, she is anointed with turmeric, giving her skin a soft glow. After this treatment, the bride participates in another tradition called Shakha Paula. In this ritual, seven married women place traditional marriage bangles on the bride's hands. The seven women represent the seven forms of God; one for each day of the week.

The wedding morning starts with the groom receiving new wedding clothes from his relatives in a ceremony called Potto Bastra. The groom is then dressed in his gift, normally a conventional wedding suit. In a traditional bharaat, the groom and his entourage then head off for the wedding.

As the couple individually makes their way to the wedding hall, a famous Bengali tradition takes place: The oolu-oolu and the blowing of the conch. Oolu-oolu is the onomatopoeic term referring to a sound made by Bengali women simultaneously moving their tongues and beating their mouths with an open palm. The oolu-oolu, performed by women of both families, is meant to draw widespread attention to the wedding ceremony. To compliment the oolu-oolu, a conch is blown.

The Ceremony

When the bride and groom arrive at the wedding, they meet each other with a ritual exchange of flowered garlands or phool malas. Their hands are then joined with a sacred thread and the couple is blessed in the Sampradan ceremony.

The couple isfirst ritually seated in front of the Agni (sacred fire) in a small ceremony named Yagya. As the ceremony proceeds, the couple is asked to stand and walk seven times around a decorative circular pattern on the floor, reminding them of the sanctity and solemnity of marriage. These seven rounds are known as Saat Pheras.

After Saat Pheras in Anjali ceremonies, an offering is made to the fire. Although many Hindu type weddings involve fire offerings, Anjali is typical of and specific to Bengali weddings.

A traditional Bengali wedding is completed with the Sindoor Daan. The groom applies the symbol of marriage to his bride's hair parting: a red marking (Sindoor). As a Hindu woman, the bride will wear this symbol from the time of the Sindoor Daan until her death. The groom then offers his bride a new sari with which she covers her head. With this the couple is then considered officially married.

After the Wedding

The wedding ceremony is followed by a reception for the guests. The reception is usually a spectacular display.

After the reception, the bride leaves behind her old life and family, becoming a member of the groom's family instead. In the ritual Bidaai, the bride's family both grieves their loss and wishes her joy in her new life.

Even as the couple leaves together they are not yet free to begin married life until the Bohu Bhaat. It is a very important ceremony in which the bride cooks and serves a meal for her new family & thus symbolizes the bride's entrance into her new family. They are then free to start married life.